How not to get attached

Some of us have a heart of stone and we see love as an emotion; but others lack that ability and they fall in love with the first person that is nice with them. The truth is that we all have different ways to handle loneliness; with some people having more abandonment issues than others. But it has to be said: getting attached too often is not very good for yourself, Instead one should look at being able to rely on themselves for mental support; something that is sometimes easier said than done. There are however things we can do which will help us not getting so attached to people all the time.

Adult dating

This first suggestion might sound strange but hear us out a minute. Most people go into serious relationships and they never get to find out what it is like to have something as simple as a one night stand. It might sound like a dirty thing to some but having no strings sex is actually a great way to learn how not to get too attached. Instead of thinking about your feelings, you focus on the act of sex that is taking place on the moment. No worries about the past or the future, it is all about pure fun and escapism.


Some people might just not have been brought up to deal with everything by themselves. If you are used to do your own shopping, wash your own clothes and cook your own food then you don’t need someone else to do it for you. Sure it is nice when someone else does it but it is not a necessity. That is the point here: some people get too attached out of necessity; because there are some things they just cannot do by themselves. So instead of needing a partner for physical and emotional support; learning a few life skills can make a big difference and give us that independence we so desperately need.

Abandonment issues

Being let down by your parents as a child has a huge effect on how you see the world, and it will stay with you for the rest of your life. If the people who were supposed to nurture you and look after you ended up abusing you and abandoning you; then you will have psychological issues linked with how you get attached to others. Some people will develop independence from it whilst other will simply not know what social boundaries are; leading then to get too attached to people. So if this rings true to you then find specialist who you can talk to about those issues; it will help you to get better.

Low self-esteem

This is another psychological issue that can arise from negative past experiences. Whether your parents never showed their love towards you or whether you are stuck into a cycle of self-hatred; this can really affect how you need other people to fill the gaps in your life. Again your best bet is to try to talk to someone in the hope that you will gain confidence and some well needed self-love. Ultimately you don’t want to be alone; but you just don’t want to attach yourself to anyone neither.

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Angelo Leen